I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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