at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I need a hoe opinion
go on
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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