And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
