My nipple is on Facebook.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize