thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
The struggles of a small town man whore
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
