i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize