Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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