but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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