Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
