Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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