there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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