hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
