Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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