i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
