even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
