i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
