I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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