JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
