8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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