Where is the hickey?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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