She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
