nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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