Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
