i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Randomize
