Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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