only if we run a train.
done.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
