I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
