i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize