I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
