hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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