Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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