Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
