nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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