we made out on top of his cat.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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