But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
