he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
