You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
