Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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