I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
