i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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