hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
What drink are we having for lunch?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
