I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
