He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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