No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
