he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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