My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
