i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I have aggressive nipples.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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