Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
