I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
