My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
