well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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