You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just want nice things and good sex
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
