One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
