Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
