i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize