i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
