I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize