wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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