So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Fuck appropriateness.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
