I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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