He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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