Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize