did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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