You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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