we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Randomize
