I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize