Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
