Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
