dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
soo... how was my night?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
