I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
