Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
