I love watching others lives come down to our level.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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