i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
